MADE UP HALF TRUTHS

A RETREAT FOUND WITHIN ONE'S SELF
THIS INSULATED DENIAL OF A LIE


The need...
The want...
one and the same or two sides of the spectrum
It builds and churns till there's no more to twist
but the story itself,
reality taking a step back to the fantasy unfolding

I don't even remember half of what happened
with these made up half truths
Though they are recorded through images and words
that once flustering feeling proved to be fleeting

I have the evidence and the motive
and yet still I could not connect the dots
or put two and two together
everything in retrospect just seems so incoherent
It has been and is my tendency to over think
to put meaning where it does not belong
to analyze something past its superficiality and face value
though equally futile
for my philosophy is at its infancy
born out of the aggrandized theories of my own
all laughably pretentious really.
...Oh how it dearly offends.

Its like the blind leading the blind
these made up half truths
that because I cannot see it - therefore it does not exist.


-chrissanjose

[note to self]

Partly inspired by the need to analyze love at first sight vs. love at hindsight, how memories are really just delusions of grandeur, selectively remembering that which we think happened and conveniently omitting that which did not fit into the plot of things... whether it be intentional or unbeknownst. Either way, it no longer matters for the truth is now buried underneath the pile of half truths that crowd our minds and hearts. Self reflection can only take you so far when one introspects nothing but lies, denial, everything but the factual occurrence and we are none the wiser to differentiate which from which.