SO I HEAR...

I am but a spectator to my own...to my own.


I can write, picturesque and spectacular, So I Hear
I can capture, So they Say
All about the flash, not enough of the heat
That's all they want to hear
To live vicariously through my words
Through the unseen pain that they would rather not visit
They praise me for my talents, yet lambaste me for my suffering
The cries will no longer, will never come
I have my pen to thank for that
It streams the tears that will never dry
It bleeds the blood that will never flow
...So I Hear
Just keep writing and it will keep getting better - So I Hear
Well what do you know of my plight - So I Say

My thoughts are stuck...So I Feel
No longer as free flowing as it once did
The wisdom splendid contained - So it Says
My brain no longer in touch with my heart
The pen is there,
Ink it is filled,
The paper ever present,
Yet my mind has long been gone
Packed its clothes and never looked back - So it Wrote
From the confines of a vehicle it travels to nowhere
A self-addressed envelope to me it sent
Good bye it said - So I Read
So I bid it farewell - it is now a memory - So I See

I am defeated - So I Hear
Yet my battle, it is not lost
It is merely the greatness of what I can achieve
Victory through the wisdom in my my pen that I fear.
All is fair in love and war - So they Say
But what do they know when the only confrontation they've waged
Is but a play.


~ Christian San Jose




[notes]

Inspired by "Idioteque" from Radiohead