As I have told you...
Like a gas lamp i can only burn as bright as you want me to be,
I can light up the room in every setting you desire,
Bright as daylight, dim like the sunset, or as dark, as stark midnight.
Saying that, I can only observe from the distance you put between us.
here I am waiting...
patiently,
with the kerosene that soaks up my wick,
you are the tinder that flickers my light asunder.
lighting in a bottle, I long to help you,
yet my cathartic whispers,
second long delays like lightnings thunder.
I wait for you to reach out...
so we can light the world anew.
the fuel that burns in my heart,
is never ending and infinite,
it just longs to light up your way.
to brighten the room you have holed yourself into, and
had fashioned into a world of your own.
I am here, do you not notice me?
do you even know you have met me?
in this very same space,
we both occupy, time and pain,
the intangibles we cannot grasp.
would you rather wallow by yourself,
or know that there is somebody that cares.
a friendship that can only grow stronger,
if we can move past the guilt,
that others are longing to help.
the dust i accumulate is but a reminder,
to the time I have been waiting.
a residue of the patience bore out of love.
and in the event that you may see me,
and the purpose I serve in your life,
how does it feel to know that there is somebody,
willing to un-confound your current state?
to guide you on your path in self-discovery.
"what was once lost is now found"...
i long to say those words as you hold me,
lit up, a simple candle light fire flickering.
as my light moves, the shadows dance,
they will forever be present,
for they are the remnants of the pain.
for pain is but a precursor to growth.
a prelude to what becomes you,
beautiful and free.
So pick up that lighter and lets light this flame anew,
spark the heat in your heart that has gone cold,
its lost sensitivity rejuvenated,
and feel once again the fervor of love,
affection, admiration, and completeness.
And I am like no other.
though flames may burn out, or die with the wind,
Know that my heart burns this fire, a fuel unrelenting,
my own spectacle is self sustaining.
just waiting....
whispering for you to make use of it.
This light of mine will not die, just watch...
You and I,
will light up the night sky like never before.
-chrissanjose
[Note to Self]
This poem - or whatever it is at the moment, was written with the intent of having it be read like a letter. The structure will not reflect it, but I wanted to be able to connect to that non-existent (or not so non-existent...) audience in a more personal manner. Hopefully I was able to capture what the existential thoughts of an unused gas lamp can be. The thoughts that it will forever keep to itself for it lacked the mouth and the voice to speak what is really in his heart - that is if it had a heart.
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