THE GIRL I ONCE LIKED

11/08



It took me awhile to come up to the stage,
for the longest time all I did was drift below
and dance to my own tune,
seen only by anybody proximately close
hidden by everybody that mattered

So with every ounce of courage
though it is an act I do every week
My nerves still get the best of me
My jeans were too tight
a social experiment with my balls being constricted as the consequence
with my right leg on the stage, it almost buckled
as that rush of adrenaline poured itself on from every nerve fiber of my being.

Breaking out from the sea of club goers I emerged on top
I stood there for a minute or so
timid in my movements and making small conversation with the DJ
Waiting for the right music to come on
knowing that it will take me to a different state of being
a natural high that can only be induced by music

BaM Bam Boom Boom Bam
As soon as the beat started, so did my dancing
Hard and rhythmical, i was an extension of the DJ and the music
we were synchronized

I loved doing this, for my selfish reasons
I am put on a pedestal
I get to dance
and to get to meet girls of course
As I danced up on stage
coaxing every girl to dance along - successfully i might add
I can tell that everybody's confidence to party hard was growing
all because of my little action

Yes it might be my own delusions
but I have been doing this consecutively week after week to get the same response
And the results dont lie
I can dance
I can make you want to dance
I am infectious

Bam Bam Boom Bam
again me lost in the music,
holding hands with a girl from below,
dancing to our own beat

--->Then I saw her
her and her porcelain skin
in a white shirt with her neck length black hair
and my heart skipped a beat.
The girl I used to like was in the club
the club that she so loathed mind you



I reached out for her and smiled
I missed liking her
though I will not revert back to said affection.
I don't know why, it was the past -
- and sometimes some emotions are better let go
I held her hand for a moment
& it just amazed me how she still made me all nervous and giddy
like a pubescent middle-school boy
holding hands with his first crush

She flashed me a mutual smile and amazement
I guess amazement that I was up on stage dancing
and as quick and surprising as she came,
she left with equal steadfastness

We got back home
to this weekend home of ours only to have her be there
outside where the wind was blowing furiously in this California Night
her Cigarette smoke wiffled away in the wind
and the embers from it lit up her face
her hair danced around her crown
The girl i once liked made me question if i really am over it all

We never spoke in length, just hi, causal observation and such.
We ended up sleeping next to each other
breathing the same pattern in the same sofa.
I woke up as I could not sleep
laying next to the girl I once liked proved harder than i thought.
Her body was bare, asides from the clothes she wore
Though she is skinny, her hips jut out like wings
her curvaceous figure screaming sensual appeal.

I knew she was cold, her body fat was very little to keep her insulated
so for the moment I wrap a blanket around her
to shelter her body from the cold
and to take my mind away from her figure.

She woke up and left without saying a word
Put on her shoes,
checked herself in the mirror
and walked out the door.

alas I am once again reminded as to why she
is the girl I once liked.

Cold and frail, she left me so heartless.


-chrissanjose