SHUT UP LIFE

Far too often, we get
blah, blah, blah,
then they say
"its part of life"



An ever growing constance. The tension builds though the scene is all unassuming. Slowly but surely the air was getting hot and heavy -bothering to the point of schizophrenia. Walls are closing in; its really all just an illusion, yet to me, at the moment, the feeling is all to real.

Panic settles in, yet not in the sense that it stabilizes. Its just there, sitting across from me, staring at me right in the face with a figurative smirk in its lips - as if it knows something that I don't. God how I want to smack you so much right now - if only you were as tangible as the clothes that's sticking right to my skin, as my sweat profusely drips, tinged with sodium and adrenaline that my body seems to contain in copious amounts.

Ah, the feeling is killing me - intense and edgy. Though it happens all too often,
I still am not used to it. Will I ever? Will I want to have you just leave? Or is this feeling something that I will miss. Forget it, my nerves are too shot for any sort of deep reflection of the current state I am in.

Swirling - for the mean time that is how my head seems to be. My vision is blurry and i'm seeing double. Which one is real? both real or both fake.
You will be the death of me, And yet you make me feel so alive.

I can only conclude that to be alive is to suffer life itself, without a doubt.

- chrissanjose