REVELATIONS POST FACT

meSTUPID



I haven’t been writing, or even thinking at that.
I think… for one to think, one must see first.
And to be quite honest I have been blind these past couple of weeks.
as well as deaf, mute and numb.

I’ve immersed myself into a culture that afflicts the superficial,
and the attention deficit designated masses.
I my friends have devolved into a sheep.

Late night outs, drugs and booze, and that intoxication with the feeling of being cool.
To be one of the many walking lies I watch on TV,
their hackneyed way of life illustrated by peacock-esque colors and loud movements,
yet all of it void of personality and truth.

I only yearned to infiltrate it, to experience and report.
But I think it is the one that has infiltrated me. Ironically.

How could I have not foreseen this…


I’m not even going to analyze what I have been doing, or why I have taken said path.
That is but just a way of glorifying actions by means of a wrong sense of self-justification.

This notion that if I stop and ponder my own self-destructive behavior,
it somehow disinfects the damage it has already caused - post fact.

Such reactionary idealization all too often hides itself in some philosophical discovery of the “self”.
Its multi-faceted way of borrowing names such as reflection and invocation, prayer and meditation
is evidence of its wanton display of knowledge.
Isn’t it just ignorance for not being able to avoid said mistakes?

I mean really.

Hiding in aggrandized self-furnished wisdom, that is what I have been doing lately.
Being clever by ingesting my mistakes,
picking and prodding at it like a lab experiment,
hypothesizing better formulas for future encounters
and then puffing my chest out when it is all said and done,
...proud of myself for having the “guts” to critique my own.

What I should have been doing all along was to think before leaping,
to reflect on the possible consequences,
instead of embracing this stupid lie of “Everything happens for a reason”
Damn right it does, and it is because I was ignorant and insolent.

This is what I should’ve been doing, clearly.
But I’m set in my ways, reacting post fact and reveling in it, naturally…